The last few days my mind has filled with memories of the past year and hopes for the next. 2011 consisted of a lot of changes. We became parents. We were a part of a new church launch. Our house flooded and we continue to living with the motto "flexibility" in an apartment. The goods and the bads just like everyone else. As the new year starts, I am really focused on how I can grow in 2012. In my family, we always give gifts to Jesus Christmas day before giving our gifts to one another. These are much like New Years resolutions, but with the weight of giving them as a gift to Jesus (no pressure). Last year I gave my anxiety of becoming a mom (motherhood has of course consumed my year). I am so in love with Liam. I feel so honored to be his mom. I learn something new everyday, both about him and about me. This year, I want to become more balanced. As much as I am a mom, I am also a wife, a teacher, and a person. (The teacher aspect loudly demands its time, so that's not really my focus)
Myself as a wife:
Honestly, it is hard not to loose yourself in parenting. When Liam is awake, we are focused on him. Playing, eating, cuddling (those few seconds he slows down). This year I want to talk, act, and date like Michael's wife. I want to engage in life with Michael both with and without Liam. This means more dates, for sure!
Regaining myself as a person:
This year, I want to give myself a break! I love reading blogs and status of other people. I love to witness how others live life, but I feel like I am always trying to keep up. I need to cook more, clean more, get more hobbies, craft more, read more, etc. As much as I want to do these things and become that super mom, I am allowing myself to just be. I also want to start to do things for just me.
-I plan to blog. My last post was when Liam was a month old. That's just sad. Writing is a way for me to reflect and record life. I need that. I don't promise to be consistent. I don't promise to always post pictures. I don't promise to spell check. But I'm gonna do my best.
-I plan to read. I find myself checking facebook or pinterest while I feed Liam or during naps. I can get lost in searching. This year, I want to spend those few quiet moments reading and breathing and blocking out the noise more.
-I plan to photograph. Well, I already do that, but I've allowed it to feel pressured or obligatory. I want to take photos for fun. Photography is my creative outlet. It is one way I feel close to God. I don't want to loose that. I also want to take a picture everyday.
Myself as a mommy:
This year I want to learn how to be intentional. I want to be intentional as we enter this world of discipline. I want to be intentional about how we play and learn. Most importantly, I want to learn how to intentionally show Liam who Jesus is and how to live a life that reflects Him. I honestly don't know how to do this, but I can't wait. sidenote: Liam's goal this year is to "read" a story every night before bed.
So there it is. Happy Birthday, Jesus. Hopefully I can look back in a year and say I've grown, I've changed, and I've continued on this path to finding my way back to HIM.
