Work!

2012

The last few days my mind has filled with memories of the past year and hopes for the next. 2011 consisted of a lot of changes. We became parents. We were a part of a new church launch. Our house flooded and we continue to living with the motto "flexibility" in an apartment. The goods and the bads just like everyone else. As the new year starts, I am really focused on how I can grow in 2012. In my family, we always give gifts to Jesus Christmas day before giving our gifts to one another. These are much like New Years resolutions, but with the weight of giving them as a gift to Jesus (no pressure). Last year I gave my anxiety of becoming a mom (motherhood has of course consumed my year). I am so in love with Liam. I feel so honored to be his mom. I learn something new everyday, both about him and about me. This year, I want to become more balanced. As much as I am a mom, I am also a wife, a teacher, and a person. (The teacher aspect loudly demands its time, so that's not really my focus)

Myself as a wife:
Honestly, it is hard not to loose yourself in parenting. When Liam is awake, we are focused on him. Playing, eating, cuddling (those few seconds he slows down). This year I want to talk, act, and date like Michael's wife. I want to engage in life with Michael both with and without Liam. This means more dates, for sure!

Regaining myself as a person:
This year, I want to give myself a break! I love reading blogs and status of other people. I love to witness how others live life, but I feel like I am always trying to keep up. I need to cook more, clean more, get more hobbies, craft more, read more, etc. As much as I want to do these things and become that super mom, I am allowing myself to just be. I also want to start to do things for just me.

-I plan to blog. My last post was when Liam was a month old. That's just sad. Writing is a way for me to reflect and record life. I need that. I don't promise to be consistent. I don't promise to always post pictures. I don't promise to spell check. But I'm gonna do my best.
-I plan to read. I find myself checking facebook or pinterest while I feed Liam or during naps. I can get lost in searching. This year, I want to spend those few quiet moments reading and breathing and blocking out the noise more.
-I plan to photograph. Well, I already do that, but I've allowed it to feel pressured or obligatory. I want to take photos for fun. Photography is my creative outlet. It is one way I feel close to God. I don't want to loose that. I also want to take a picture everyday.

Myself as a mommy:
This year I want to learn how to be intentional. I want to be intentional as we enter this world of discipline. I want to be intentional about how we play and learn. Most importantly, I want to learn how to intentionally show Liam who Jesus is and how to live a life that reflects Him. I honestly don't know how to do this, but I can't wait. sidenote: Liam's goal this year is to "read" a story every night before bed.

So there it is. Happy Birthday, Jesus. Hopefully I can look back in a year and say I've grown, I've changed, and I've continued on this path to finding my way back to HIM.

Bath Time

Oh how he hates bath time! Mostly the whole cold thing. Once he gets to sit in the tub, I think it will be a different story. But for now, we work as quickly as possible and pray we don't get peed on!

First week home

Oh how a week can change your life. I have never slept this little in my life. But we are spending every waking hour learning about the uniqueness of our little man and what makes him work.

Liam's likes:
-cuddling with daddy
-skin to skin cuddles with mommy
-hanging out with his grandma! (couldn't have done it without her)
-being swaddled. He loves to be held tight. I think it reminds him of his home for the past 9 months.

Liam's dislikes:
-being cold and naked. This makes diaper changing and bath time a treat
-waiting to eat. The whole eating thing has been a roller coaster. We still don't quite have the hang of it.

Liam nuances:
-When Liam's belly is full, he gives out the sweetest little squeaky sigh and goes completely limp. We call this the milk comma. It is so sweet
- Between 9 and 11 at night Liam is the most awake and content. He makes the sweetest content face where his lips make the smallest little o.

I love spending my days learning not just how to be a mommy, but how to be the best mommy for Liam Edward Sawyer.











Daddy's favorite position. He says Liam is giving him a hug

first days as a family of 3

Introducing William Edward Sawyer

I find birthing stories so intriguing. Mostly because each one is completely different. I am fascinated by how women come into motherhood in completely unique ways. In preparation for our sweet Liam, Michael and I went to a month of birthing classes. We did a lot of research to design a birth plan for us. I spent countless hours thinking and dreaming about the labor and delivery of our son. I had a nice, neat sheet outlining how it would go to naturally bring our son into the world. This is my response to my birth plan...hahahahahahahaha. I love that I thought I could design the most unexpected, unique experience of my life. Only God knows, that's for sure. Despite the unexpected, I love how our son was born, and I never want to forget each detail. SO, for those interested, here is how William Edward Sawyer entered the world!

The story starts a week or so before his birthday. I was already at 2 cm and had several evenings of contractions and funny feelings. I was paying close attention to every tweak or pain my body had. I so badly wanted Liam to arrive. Michael actually had everything packed and ready at the door. He was just as anxious as I was. That week was very difficult. Even though we were 2 weeks away from his due date, everyone I saw would ask if he was coming or expressed disappointment that we were still waiting. Anticipation is the key word for sure. So, fast forward to Wednesday, February 16th. That night, after my shower, I began...leaking (gross I know). This did not feel normal, but there was no pain. Michael was certain that my water broke, but I was really guarding my heart. I didn't want to get my hopes up. To apease him, I called the on call doctor at 10:45 to see what was happening. The doctor basically blew me off saying it was nothing of importance, just a sign it was getting closer. So, i went to bed and headed to work the next morning (yes, i taught the day my son was born). I am fairly certain nothing coherent came out of my mouth. I was a little distracted (my poor kiddos). I talked to several teachers about how I was still leaking and they found it equally strange. After lunch, while my kids were at recess, a teacher came to my room and told me my principal was insisting I leave, or he was calling Michael :) So I agreed, and called the doctor on my way home. The nurse agreed something was happening, and encouraged me to come early for my appointment. I gave Michael "the call" to meet me at home to get our stuff just in case. Now, of course my doctor was out of town that week so we went and saw another doctor in the practice confirming that my water had indeed broken. However, no labor. When your water breaks you have 48 hours to deliver before they do a c-section for fear of infection setting in. After 24 hours they start to get nervous. Because my water most likely broke in the shower the night before, we didn't have tons of time.

So, Michael and I walked from the doctor across the street to the hospital. We looked slightly ridiculous hauling everything upstairs. We brought a yoga ball, my mat, a bag for all three of us, cameras, etc (but forgot our pillows!). The doctor started me on a pitocin drip at 4:00 (already veering from the birth plan). After two hours I went from my already 2 cm to a whopping 3 cm! At this point the doctor broke my water all the way. This pleasantry sent me from casual contractions to a constant contraction. I'm talking no break in between. I had great plans of leaning on the birthing ball, walking the halls and stretching on the yoga mat. With constant pain, I just laid their completely still and deep breathing for 2 hours. I couldn't talk or open my eyes or I am sure I would of lost it. After 2 hours, I had enough. I was afraid was only at 4-5 cm and I couldn't keep this up all night. So, Michael and I decided on an epidural. This was a tough decision for me. I really wanted to go all natural but the pitocin drip through that out the window. After settling on the epidural, the nurse kindly informed me that the anesthesiologist was called to a heart surgery and would be 15 minutes or more.....ONE HOUR LATER he showed up. That was a long hour friends! The doctor had decided to wait to check me until after the epidural so I wouldn't have to endure more pain. He came in and informed me that I was at 9 cm! So close! Both of our parents arrived at the time from a quick trip South from Indy. I was able to greet them with a smile on my face. One painless hour later, we were at 10 cm and ready to push. I pushed for an hour ( a difficult task when you have no feeling in your lower half. I felt like I was working really hard to make my face red). The doctor and nurse team came in prepped the room as I continued to push. After a few snips, Liam's head came out with the cord wrapped around his neck THREE TIMES! In hindsight, I remember the heart monitor going silent as I pushed. I am so glad I didn't stop to process why at the time. Our little man official arrived at 10: 58 p.m. (about 25 hours after my water broke). The quickly checked him out to make sure he was in one healthy piece. His ridiculously loud cry assured us he was a healthy "little" boy. 8 lbs 3oz and 22 inches long.



Michael was immediately at his side as I watched from afar (being stitched up for the next 45 minutes. Thank goodness for the glorious numbness of the epidural!) We spent that night getting to know our son and learning how to care for him from the nurses. We were surrounded by a sea of friends and family the next two days. Seriously, we couldn't be luckier. On Saturday night, we ventured home a new family of three. We were blessed to have my mom stay with us the next week. She was such a great help with Liam and keeping our house in one piece.

The whole experience and entrance into parenthood has introduce an entirely new level of love that Michael and I couldn't explain. We are seriously head over heels about this kid. We are so blown away by every yawn, stretch, and hiccup. We couldn't be prouder of who our little guy is. We love seeing his little personality shine through and of course deciphering who he acts/looks like (stubbornness of his daddy for sure). We are learning and figure out our new sleepless roles, and we couldn't be happier.

My goal is to be better about posting pictures of our little man and our family as he grows. I promise to do my best.

nursery

Oh the nursery...it has been a process, that's for sure. Painting, furniture assembly, wall decals, washing laundry...such a long list! We started in November and finished...this past weekend. The moral of the story is: It's amazing! I love it and find myself just sitting in there dreaming about our baby boy! I can't wait to see him grow up in there! Here are a few photos. They don't do it justice.



Look at the sweet drawers filled with socks and onesies!

Baby Showers

Oh dear it has been awhile. That is a testament to how full our lives have been! As Michael prepares for the new church and I prepare to leave my students for 6 weeks, we are simultaneously busy getting ourselves and our house ready for Liam! We have enjoyed weeks of birthing classes. We are learning so much and now are way beyond excited to be a family of three. It all became real when we hit our 35 week appointment and the doctor said that if he starts coming, we can let him come! So, we are definitely feeling the "any day now" even though it could be a few more weeks.

In the spirit of getting ready, we have had two amazing showers with one more this week. We had an amazing shower in Indiana with friends and family from Plainfield. It was so great to see people we haven't seen in months/years. We feel so blessed to have a support system here and in Indy. Everyone brought Liam their favorite children's book to build up his library. I loved it! I will post photos from that shower when I get them from my mom.

This past weekend was our Knoxville shower. It was thrown by some amazing friends who have been amazingly supportive during the pregnancy. The food was amazing and the decoration matched our nursery! We are close to having all we need for Liam's arrival. Here are a few photos from the day!







My friend Katie who threw the shower. I feel blessed to have such a great friend.





The amazing women who helped with the shower. I love them all!